Why A Blog?
How do I answer that question? To be honest, who knows. Maybe I've decided to start blogging because it seems so "popular"? Maybe it's due, in part, to the anonymity that blogging allows me? The freedom that comes with being able to fully and freely express my thoughts about life, my life mostly, but also just LIFE in general.
Here, I have no worries about those who know me, judging me.
Maybe, this is, in a small way, my way of reliving my childhood attempts at writing a diary? You see, I didn't have that freedom as a child. My mother gave me a diary as a "tween" (that's what 10-13 year-olds are called now-a-days, right?), and made a big deal out of letting everyone know that she gave it to me, so that I could express myself. What she neglected to let everyone know is that she had every intention of seeing how I expressed myself and what I wrote. She made it her business to not only randomly search for and read my diary, but then confont me about what she read after she demanded that I give it to her and I refused. I swear, as big as that house was, you'd think she' had better things to do then search for and find my damn diary. I went from blacking out what I didn't want her to read, to writing things in there, just to piss her off (those were funny, until she read them, then all hell broke loose!) After a while, I got tired and bored with writing and not being able to go back and re-read what I wrote, so I stopped. Hell, what was the point?
So, now that I'm 35 and I've had an opportunity to look back on my life and see that I've basically fucked up/wasted 20 good years, I've started to take a look at myself and the role that I played in what has happened. As one of the many in the US of A, who doesn't have insurance, I can't afford traditional therapy, and so, I'm using THIS medium as a way of 'getting it out'...of cleansing my mental, physical, and spiritual system.
Is this blog going to appeal to everyone? Nope, and I would hope it doesn't. I'm doing this not only for me, but other women, especially other 'sisters' as well. I know that I am not the ONLY one who has gone through some or all of the bullshit that I have and will be sharing. What I do know though, is that in the African-American community, it is 'taboo' to discuss some of the things that I'll be discussing. I am hoping that with my sharing this, even in my anonymity, that I'll help to continue to break-down those walls.
Most importanly, I also pray that I will be able to find my own healing by sharing. Maybe by writing this down, I can come back and take a look at my progress or failures (there will be some) and by doing so, it will help to motivate my progression.
Truly, I have no idea. Can't you tell? I just know that one of the gifts that I have been blessed with is the ability to express myself (and I wasn't an English major, so there will be spelling and grammar errors from time-to-time. I just pray that there are not so many, that the content of this blog will be overlooked), and so, I'm using that talent, before it's taken from me.
If you choose to comment on anything I share, that's fine. Just note, I am not here to be your 'bashing board'. I will not accept any post/comment that is overtly disrespectful. Posts that are full of thoughtful, respectful and helpful information, will be accepted and posted, for all to see. I am not here to defend myself or my life choices, but will accept respetful and constructive criticism, from anyone.
Also, I would love to hear from women, especially African-American/Black (the way in which you use to describe yourself is inmaterial to me) women, who may have experienced/been through some of the same things that I will share. Maybe, just maybe, we'll be able to learn from the mistakes that we've made (a popular radio DJ here in DC says "It takes a smart brother or sister to learn from his/her mistakes, but it takes a WISE brother or sister to learn from the mistakes made by others.") as well as help each other to obtain "Healing".
Here's to growth! Here's to life! Here's to HEALING!
- Ms. RTBlackRefer.com
Here, I have no worries about those who know me, judging me.
Maybe, this is, in a small way, my way of reliving my childhood attempts at writing a diary? You see, I didn't have that freedom as a child. My mother gave me a diary as a "tween" (that's what 10-13 year-olds are called now-a-days, right?), and made a big deal out of letting everyone know that she gave it to me, so that I could express myself. What she neglected to let everyone know is that she had every intention of seeing how I expressed myself and what I wrote. She made it her business to not only randomly search for and read my diary, but then confont me about what she read after she demanded that I give it to her and I refused. I swear, as big as that house was, you'd think she' had better things to do then search for and find my damn diary. I went from blacking out what I didn't want her to read, to writing things in there, just to piss her off (those were funny, until she read them, then all hell broke loose!) After a while, I got tired and bored with writing and not being able to go back and re-read what I wrote, so I stopped. Hell, what was the point?
So, now that I'm 35 and I've had an opportunity to look back on my life and see that I've basically fucked up/wasted 20 good years, I've started to take a look at myself and the role that I played in what has happened. As one of the many in the US of A, who doesn't have insurance, I can't afford traditional therapy, and so, I'm using THIS medium as a way of 'getting it out'...of cleansing my mental, physical, and spiritual system.
Is this blog going to appeal to everyone? Nope, and I would hope it doesn't. I'm doing this not only for me, but other women, especially other 'sisters' as well. I know that I am not the ONLY one who has gone through some or all of the bullshit that I have and will be sharing. What I do know though, is that in the African-American community, it is 'taboo' to discuss some of the things that I'll be discussing. I am hoping that with my sharing this, even in my anonymity, that I'll help to continue to break-down those walls.
Most importanly, I also pray that I will be able to find my own healing by sharing. Maybe by writing this down, I can come back and take a look at my progress or failures (there will be some) and by doing so, it will help to motivate my progression.
Truly, I have no idea. Can't you tell? I just know that one of the gifts that I have been blessed with is the ability to express myself (and I wasn't an English major, so there will be spelling and grammar errors from time-to-time. I just pray that there are not so many, that the content of this blog will be overlooked), and so, I'm using that talent, before it's taken from me.
If you choose to comment on anything I share, that's fine. Just note, I am not here to be your 'bashing board'. I will not accept any post/comment that is overtly disrespectful. Posts that are full of thoughtful, respectful and helpful information, will be accepted and posted, for all to see. I am not here to defend myself or my life choices, but will accept respetful and constructive criticism, from anyone.
Also, I would love to hear from women, especially African-American/Black (the way in which you use to describe yourself is inmaterial to me) women, who may have experienced/been through some of the same things that I will share. Maybe, just maybe, we'll be able to learn from the mistakes that we've made (a popular radio DJ here in DC says "It takes a smart brother or sister to learn from his/her mistakes, but it takes a WISE brother or sister to learn from the mistakes made by others.") as well as help each other to obtain "Healing".
Here's to growth! Here's to life! Here's to HEALING!
- Ms. RT
posted by Ms. Randum Thoughtz at 6:11 PM
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